Secret Societies, the worlds elite?

Secret Societies. You know em, you love em, and you totally want to be in one.
Everyone gets a buzz from being elitist, and separating all the mean and fascist people in the world from the intelligent and morally sound and motivated. If any secret society president is reading this right now, kidnap me! I'd be an awesome pledge, and all of the following secret societies sound mega x core cool.

1. Skulls and Bones
Basically, these guys are all go to Yale and were founded in 1832, both bush presidents have been members, and according to popular myth the CIA was built upon members of this group, cool huh? The CIA has released a statement that this is NOT true but wouldn't it be awesome if it was? I love exciting things. I don't think women can join though; perhaps some disguise is needed if I am to be a pledge.

2. Excellensaltus
The Excellensaltus are the most mysterious of the secret societies! Nobody really knows anything about them but they know that they exist, and that they operate primarily in Ankor, Cambodia. Excellensaltus have been at the center of many conspiracies, but too little information is known to be fact to report!

3. Freemasons
Apparently Freemasons are cool too, but my uncle totally is one so I’m not sure they’re evil and such. Also, I know this old guy that is a freemason too. FREEMASONS IN THE FAMILY YO. So if they control the world, I want better birthday presents this year. Stop being a stinge, Uncle Ross, I'll take Greenland.

Ivory

I inherited some ivory beads yesturday, and an ivory statuette of three monkeys, really cute stuff but is it ethically right for me to wear them? not the monkey statue obviously, but the beads. Frankly, from my opinion they are very cute and interesting looking, and (don't quote me on this) but wasn't the ivory trade once legal and when it was legal, I estimate that some of the ivory was harvested in a safe manner. Enclosed is a picture of what the beads look like! perhaps the heirloom 'einie' on trademe received was from the same store. Saweet.

Hey! just because elephants are cute dosen't ethically mean we should treat them better, the leather trade was pretty awful too onceaponatime. Come to think of it, if cows only have one kid or two per year how did they become so populous? Anyway, back on track, I don't think there will be harm in me wearing them. I am not in any means promoting the torture or killing of elephants or other tusked mammals, but rather promoting an intrest in historical trades and ethics and good bead craftmanship. If I could revive the elephant or it's tusk from the lace hanging around my neck currently, god knows I would - but as a matter of psycics, and general 'you totally can't do that' I can't do this.

However, DONT BUY ILLEGAL POACHING ITEMS. animals hurt when you do. That is all. I think my quota of promotion of animal rights issues is entirely filled for the day!