Huh

According to my tarrot reading November was going to suck. So far, November has beaten October by far - although it has been a very very weird month.
Hmhmhm. Maybe i'm developing amazing psycic powers or magical strawberry christmas ribbons.
Wheeeeeeee

I don't care

what you think.. Home and Away and Shortland street are, to be perfectly frank, horrible shows. It saddens me that a position working as a nurse or doctor or abused druggie secret mafia angel princess abused lover bomb maker on Shortland Street is pretty much the top job for New Zealand actors at the moment. If you are currently an actor in New Zealand, I beg you, fly far, far away or at least come to christchurch to meet Anna and I who will debate with you the merits of turtle wax.

Actually, just fly away, far, far away.

I'm writing this after my first professionally amateur film experience. Being filmed on stage is an entirely different thing to waiting in line for hours in 50's apparel to be sprayed with blood and dirt as a 40 foot mutant zombie huhu grub attacks.

That's right everyone! I was an extra in the action epic, Huhu Attack!
I was also lucky enough to be near the spray of blood and dirt, and I had a very nice vintage cardigan (which was probably ruined by the end of the day from red food coloring mixed with coffee, the best blood) it was pretty awesome anyway, and I had several friends to wait around with. Christchurch acting drama nerd crew ftw!

Despite being such a small city, Christchurch does have some acting talent. Actually I won't name any names in case they google themselves and yield the name of this blog and figure out who I am, but one or two of the Court Jesters is/are pretty amazing awesome and although she probably finds her job awesomley fun I feel like she/they deserve better pay or, I don't know, more opportunities. Fame isn't necessary, but being in a big budget production would be pretty awesome. Holy snack rats, imagine being in a huge broadway show. Awesome.

dear ms bartley

Dear Ms Luella Barltey
I love you. I loved you in spring of last year and I loved you in spring of this year, but all that love was secret. Now I beleive I must congratulate you on your sucess as 'Designer of the Year' in good old Britian, and share my true feelings. Basically, I wish to marry you. Please RSVP soon.

Lots of Love, Megan.

what did I do today?

Shamu Tank Update:

Theres a strange looking white object at the bottom of the tank. Could be a rogue air bubble, could be a rogue jellyfish. Could be a false alarm.

mario

American Vogue from October (which I finally have due to slow delivery) is fantastic!

I love Natalia Vodianova in this, completley Midsummer Nights Dream 'come to my bower' with the first photos I have posted. The converse are a little Sophia Coppola but I think I like it. Mario Testino has proved once again he is god.

What have you been doing?

That's not actually the question. The question is WHAT SHOULD HAVE YOU BEEN DOING?!

If you answered watching live animal cams, you are correct!

Obviously, the Shiba Inu Live Stream puppy cam is superior, but the wee spaniels at willow spring are a must watch too. Also the wee harbor puppies are so small and sweet, plus they squeak in that cute puppy way alot. To be honest, the Japanese tortoises are pretty uneventful but that didn't stop me from watching them for half an hour. Finally, he moved.

The brookyln bunny cam is not so eventful, but they have lovely lettuce or apple room spray perfume! I think I might have to pick myself up some of that!

Then again, if your name is Rebecca Jean Skjellerup you should check out the live bird feeding cam. It takes a while to load but oh my god. Amazing. I also took the time to view some of the zoo cams for more exotic animals. Here's some highlights if you have a life, unlike me and were not watching all day. The panda slept and rolled over for a while and then woke up and went away.

Shamu cam was pretty active. There were two(?) whales that kept swimming around and bumping the camera, which was awesome man. Sadly, it kept freezing so I could only watch it for a while and then refresh.

Here are the links, I've bolded the best ones. Seriously, you have to check out that puppy cam.

http://www.ustream.tv/channel/shiba-inu-puppy-cam

http://www.ustream.tv/channel/willow-spring-kennels-puppy-watch

http://www.ustream.tv/channel/havanese-harbor-puppies

http://www.ustream.tv/channel/japanese-tortoises

http://www.ustream.tv/channel/bird-feeding-live-with-user-controlled-camera

http://www.sandiegozoo.org/pandacam/index.html

http://seaworld.com/sitepage.aspx?PageID=375

http://www.bklynbunny.com/home.html

I'm in love!

Karl Lagerfeld.

Please, please marry me.

I promise I will be a good wife. I will wear nothing but Chanel couture and cook you french cuisine and wait on you like a god.

For those associate Karl Lagerfeld with travesties like these;

Please stop doing so. You are incredibly mistaken. Those above items kill babies. If you own one, you are not only a baby killer but guilty of at least 7 of the 8 sucky things I am about to list.

1. Beastility.
2. Owning at least 3 items from the 'Bad Kitty' Supre range
3. Being an ugly fat whore.
4. Having absolutely no taste.
5. Being entirely made of plastic, poor quality plastic infested with melamine.
6. Having no soul.
7. And in replace of a soul having a fake Juicy Couture tracksuit
8. With 'Juicy' or 'Sexy' or 'Hot Sexy Juicy Babe Bum' on the ass.

Karl Lagerfeld is god. Karl Lagerfeld is the reason, well, partly, somewhat, and I exaggerate here immensely to seem more loving, decent couture is still around today. Karl Lagerfeld is responsible for my happiness and most of all, the jeweled beehive. When I grow up I intend to spend my inheritance stalking him and lavishing him with my praise.

huh?

has anyone else been seeing this image engraved all over christchurch, or is it just me?

okay, so I haven't taken a photo but above is a drawing representation. Check out my skills.

Is it some sort of gang symbol or a revolution or grafitti artists at work? Huh.

Suburban Warfare.

Yesterday I went to the show. Hence, the following photo of me cuddling with my new beau.

Actually, it's not me cuddling with him. It's his ex. She wouldn't let me hug him because she didn't know my mega experience with mini lops. I had one when I was five. I named him Ludwig, after Ludwig van Beethoven. Sweet huh?

Okay, so basically when we got back our neighbours were playing - (I do not jest) - Rascall Flats and Billy Joe Cyrus whatever Roy Hick Thingajoe. Basically I think they had borrowed Sarah Palin's ipod and just plugged it in. And played it. Loudly. I had to retaliate.
.. and what better way to do it than with..

WATERLOO. I WAS DEFEATED YOU WON THE WAR WATERLOO PROMISE TO LOVE YOU FOREVER MORE
I was so passionate about this warfare that I almost even whipped out my BJORN AGAIN shirt and incredible boots that you should ask bex about because they are freaking epic.Sensing the battle was lost, they turned the music down but *we continued to have an abba dance party mix battle karaoke sing along ALL NIGHT LONG. Until the other neighbours complained.

HOT

*okay, so it was just me. Nobody else was cool enough to join

This morning I woke up at 6.00.

I know.

What kind of person wakes up at 6.00? Voluntarily at 6.00?

After fearing for my health and yawning compulsively, I turned on my computer to check my emails and get an early start for the day. Whoohoo. Anyway, so I eventually ended up on the san diego zoo online store, and I was thoroughly disgusted to see the following:

What the hell is that supposed to be, a polar bear? I assume so, as it was under the polar bear section, yet this synthetically furry creature looks nothing like a polar bear. It's even cream. With a brown nose. Come on guys, you can do so much better than this! When I go to a zoo to purchase a stuffed animal I expect it to; a) be some sort of special zoo edition, not some lame beanie baby colored in cream and fur and- b) be a somewhat accurate replica of the animal I intend to spend watching and photographing for the next four hours.

This, my friends, is NOT an accurate replica of a polar bear. If it wasn't white, oh wait, I mean CREAM it wouldn't even be in the polar bear section.

NOW THIS IS AN ACCURATE REPLICA OF A POLAR BEAR 

It even has a suitcase, like the real ones will be forced to have once they decide to leave san diego zoo after seeing the hideous representation of themselves in the gift shop. Seriously though, how lifelike it this? I mean, spot the difference?!

By the way, the above photo also illustrates how passionate animal/climate change activists are. I'm pretty sure he made that head out of paper mache'. That shit takes hours, now that's love people, that's love.

Flesh Orgy.

Items of note: Billy Ray Cyrus whipping his disney daughter, clone other ones in PCD (because nobody knows any of them apart from the lead one and the ginga one), lil wayne getting ready to smackdown on jefree star.

Click to enlarge.

Thankyou for your time.

blah

I really like yawning, how lovely is it that when people yawn other people yawn out of empathy, its like a documentary I watched about apes in the deep jungle and someone filmed them and when one yawned they all yawned to show empathy, how nice of them!

At the court we are taught that mirroring a persons body language makes them feel more comfortable, and therefore they are more likely to divulge information and act friendlier. It's magical that there are more languages than just speaking, inflection, pace, accent, expression posture everything! imagine if some wrote you a sonnet that was like butterflies on paper and soft petals and drunk slurring or some romantic shit like that and recited it to you. It was meant to be nice see, but it would sound stupid. It's like a translation of something in google translator, the words are all jumplpey and it always mentions urns instead of turtles and you can rarely get the vague idea because it wasn't meant to ever be in that language, and you lazy fools just wanted a quick shortcut of communication. Well, that writing probably wasn't meant to be spoken.

Feelings and words are different languages and they just don't fit together well. Also I find it impossibly hard to communicate my ideas within the restraints of the english language, whats worse is when people then criticize you for making up new words, or new meanings for words that mean something else ie; dishwasher liquid or yell at you for having impossibly long sentences. I happen to have a romance with the comma and don’t intend on moving on in the near future, thankyouverymuch.Also, they always tell you 'you aren't Shakespeare'. Shit. Really? thanks a lot. I was really going through an identity crisis Here.
Thanks. Lifesaver.

Love and kisses, Will.

Top 10 Bands/Musical Artists That Should Be Hit By Tsunamis

1. Nickleback

For being crap in general, and being incredibly crazy rich despite the 'music' they produce.

2. Hinder.

Remember that lips of an angel song? Yeah. Not only was it about cheating on your girlfriend, and how it was okay because she had like 'lips of an angel' but also they sound just like Nickleback. I'm pretty sure it's the same guys just making a new band to make more money.

3. Jefree Star

Nothing but a big ball of scene and ego. Actually, he should be number one. I have nothing against homosexuality, nor pink hair but not only is this guy gender confused, he's also genre confused. Wtf is this shit supposed to go under anyway? It sounds like pedophile big headed rap with a mix of techno thrown in. I don't even understand where he got the idea he could sing, probably a result of that pink hair dye and hairspray killing all his braincells, rendering him useless to logical thought process. That would also explain these following lyrics.

"Asian tourists scream when I walk down the street-They worship me like Jesus, praying at my feet"

"Diamond fingernails and 8 inch heels-Niggaz on death row request me for their last meals"

4. Panic! At the Disco

I don't care if they have improved. They will never be forgiven for a) having been the definition of emo, b) having annoyingly long song names, c) I write sins, not tragedies. Nuff Said.

5. Hollywood Undead

Honestly, would anyone miss them? with names like 'Charlie Scene' and 'Johnny 3 Tears' it would almost be a crime against humanity to keep them off this list.

6. PCD

I kept them until number 6 because they amuse me with lyrics such as 'I'm telling you to loosen up my buttons baybay' 'Don't you wish your girlfriend was a freak like me' and my all time fav, "When I grow up, I wanna have boobies" They have slutted up the face of girlpower and send contradicting messages to their pre-teen fans. "I don't need a man' - followed by whatever slutty single they sent out after that.

7. Billy-Ray Cyrus

I'm offering a dolla mixture reward for his freshly decapitated corpse.

8. Miley Cyrus

Because nobody but the Jonas Brothers would miss her, and because if you have fans in diapers and you are 15 years old you shouldn't take soft porn myspace whore pictures and have them 'leaked' or 'hacked out of your iphone' every 20 minutes. I'm not going on a Cyrus hate wagon here, but seriously, listen to 7 Things I hate about you (Which btw rips of one of my all time best ever movie choices! D:) and you'll know what I mean.

9. The Jonas Brothers

So nobody would miss Miley Cyrus. Also, imagine the hoards of girls screaming and crying.

10. Lil Wayne

Amazing. Somehow this guy managed to bypass evolution. Chimp or man?

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Air Supply - Even heavily overweight 40+ women who are desperate for love bypass Air Supply ballads. It's true.

Heidi Montag - Yes. She sings.

Aiden - Duh.

Kiss - for covering up the fact that they suck with xtrm amounts of makeup.

fashyun victims

today I saw a girl in kate moss strappy roman sandals, skinny jeans and a rave dave t shirt with bug eyed glasses and straightened to the death hair, straightened so much that it was literally frizzing from the hair melting and burning.

my heard died a little inside.

then again, ugg boots are pretty bad too.
whattadya think the ug stands for? ug-tractive?