I'm in love!

Karl Lagerfeld.

Please, please marry me.

I promise I will be a good wife. I will wear nothing but Chanel couture and cook you french cuisine and wait on you like a god.

For those associate Karl Lagerfeld with travesties like these;

Please stop doing so. You are incredibly mistaken. Those above items kill babies. If you own one, you are not only a baby killer but guilty of at least 7 of the 8 sucky things I am about to list.

1. Beastility.
2. Owning at least 3 items from the 'Bad Kitty' Supre range
3. Being an ugly fat whore.
4. Having absolutely no taste.
5. Being entirely made of plastic, poor quality plastic infested with melamine.
6. Having no soul.
7. And in replace of a soul having a fake Juicy Couture tracksuit
8. With 'Juicy' or 'Sexy' or 'Hot Sexy Juicy Babe Bum' on the ass.

Karl Lagerfeld is god. Karl Lagerfeld is the reason, well, partly, somewhat, and I exaggerate here immensely to seem more loving, decent couture is still around today. Karl Lagerfeld is responsible for my happiness and most of all, the jeweled beehive. When I grow up I intend to spend my inheritance stalking him and lavishing him with my praise.