This morning I woke up at 6.00.

I know.

What kind of person wakes up at 6.00? Voluntarily at 6.00?

After fearing for my health and yawning compulsively, I turned on my computer to check my emails and get an early start for the day. Whoohoo. Anyway, so I eventually ended up on the san diego zoo online store, and I was thoroughly disgusted to see the following:

What the hell is that supposed to be, a polar bear? I assume so, as it was under the polar bear section, yet this synthetically furry creature looks nothing like a polar bear. It's even cream. With a brown nose. Come on guys, you can do so much better than this! When I go to a zoo to purchase a stuffed animal I expect it to; a) be some sort of special zoo edition, not some lame beanie baby colored in cream and fur and- b) be a somewhat accurate replica of the animal I intend to spend watching and photographing for the next four hours.

This, my friends, is NOT an accurate replica of a polar bear. If it wasn't white, oh wait, I mean CREAM it wouldn't even be in the polar bear section.

NOW THIS IS AN ACCURATE REPLICA OF A POLAR BEAR 

It even has a suitcase, like the real ones will be forced to have once they decide to leave san diego zoo after seeing the hideous representation of themselves in the gift shop. Seriously though, how lifelike it this? I mean, spot the difference?!

By the way, the above photo also illustrates how passionate animal/climate change activists are. I'm pretty sure he made that head out of paper mache'. That shit takes hours, now that's love people, that's love.