Secret Societies. You know em, you love em, and you totally want to be in one.
Everyone gets a buzz from being elitist, and separating all the mean and fascist people in the world from the intelligent and morally sound and motivated. If any secret society president is reading this right now, kidnap me! I'd be an awesome pledge, and all of the following secret societies sound mega x core cool.
1. Skulls and Bones
Basically, these guys are all go to Yale and were founded in 1832, both bush presidents have been members, and according to popular myth the CIA was built upon members of this group, cool huh? The CIA has released a statement that this is NOT true but wouldn't it be awesome if it was? I love exciting things. I don't think women can join though; perhaps some disguise is needed if I am to be a pledge.
2. Excellensaltus
The Excellensaltus are the most mysterious of the secret societies! Nobody really knows anything about them but they know that they exist, and that they operate primarily in Ankor, Cambodia. Excellensaltus have been at the center of many conspiracies, but too little information is known to be fact to report!
3. Freemasons
Apparently Freemasons are cool too, but my uncle totally is one so I’m not sure they’re evil and such. Also, I know this old guy that is a freemason too. FREEMASONS IN THE FAMILY YO. So if they control the world, I want better birthday presents this year. Stop being a stinge, Uncle Ross, I'll take Greenland.
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